People don’t really allow each other to feel like that. We shut people out to look “put together”, or “strong” or some other unhealthy cultural bull shit. I’m getting tired of disingenuous social practices. Does anybody else get exhausted by this? God, I am so over it. Hell, I even catch myself doing it, so I know it’s deeply ingrained in us. Granted, the Army as a whole, looked down on showing emotion, but life was different in the barracks.
God, I’m not sure why I’m even reminiscing right now. I think I feel lonely, and I’m sick and angry, so I’ll rant about it. I don’t care. This is how I feel, and I hate it, and right now, everything sucks, and YOU KNOW WHAT?
It’s okay to scream, it’s fucking okay to cry, and it’s fucking okay to be angry. Whoever the hell is reading this, let me tell you, right now, I am your fucking shoulder to cry on, cause doing this life thing? It sucks. Nobody asked to be human. I sure as hell didn’t. I would have been fine being a speck of stardust.
But here we are, and somehow, WE have to get through it, TOGETHER.
Ironically, I’m pretty happy with my life, sickness just has a way of making me feel depressed and hopeless. Sigh. See? Once again, I hate being human sometimes.